


So I Look to the Sky

by moonflowers



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Character Death, Death, Dwarven Politics, Fluff, Kissing, M/M, Sexual Content, Sibling Incest, seriously there are a lot of feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-09
Updated: 2013-10-09
Packaged: 2017-12-28 22:15:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,598
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/997556
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moonflowers/pseuds/moonflowers
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In dwarven society, to lie with one of your own blood is one of the few crimes for which the punishment is death. Fili and Kili were unlucky, and now they must play the price.</p>
            </blockquote>





	So I Look to the Sky

**Author's Note:**

> Just to make this as clear as possible before you read: Fili and Kili do die at the end of this fic. You have been warned.  
> And I'm sorry in advance.

It was hot and stuffy in the halls of Erebor, and everyone was in varying states of drunkenness. Fili however, was trying his very best to keep a clear head; partly because he was still recovering from drinking too much the night before, and partly because he wanted to keep an eye on Kili. His brother had already had a little too much, his face was red and he was laughing too hard at the nonsense Bofur was spouting. He tried to get Kili to eat a bit more to distract him from the ale, and possibly to soak some of it up, but it was unsuccessful; Kili kept batting his hands away and telling him he was fine. Though that was indeed the case for now, Fili knew it wouldn’t last much longer.   
Sure enough, as soon as Bofur’s latest tale was over, Fili felt a hand creeping its way up his thigh, fingers firm and clumsy with drink. He turned ever so slightly to catch his brother’s eye and glare at him, hoping to warn him off without it being obvious to the others at the table. Kili chose to ignore him, looking carefully in the other direction as he chatted with Ori. His brother’s hand became more insistent, drawing ever further between his legs, and Fili swallowed hard and tried to keep his composure. He was irritated with Kili for doing something so stupid while they were sitting at a crowded table full of their friends and family, but by no means did that kill off his slowly building arousal. That said, he couldn’t let it continue either. 

“Kili,” he hissed in his brother’s ear, hopefully low enough not to be heard, “stop it, _now._ ”

“Stop what?” Kili blinked at him as though he had no idea what he was referring to, before turning back to resume his conversation with Ori. In contrast to his words, the hand on Fili’s leg began to rub small circles on his inner thigh.

Fili growled low in frustration. It was something he should be used to by now – after they had taken back the mountain from the beast Smaug and their uncle reinstated as king, something had begun to change between the brothers.   
It was unnoticeable at first, perhaps a need to feel the other’s presence a little more than usual, but that was to be expected, after all they had been through. Family had become ever more important in the eyes of those dwarves who had lived to see the mountain reclaimed. After a month or so of precarious and nerve-shattering dancing around each other, it had become clear what it was they had really wanted. And though it was a serious crime among their kind to lie with one of your own blood, Fili had finally weakened and given his brother, and himself, what he had craved. For almost a year now, they had lived in secrecy, hiding their more than brotherly love from the watchful eyes of the dwarves of Erebor, taking their pleasure where they could, in the lost tunnels and alcoves of their reclaimed home. And though Fili was ever careful, it often took some persuasion for Kili to be so, even though he was well aware of the punishment that awaited them if they were caught. His brother was spontaneous and free-spirited, and it was something Fili was loathe to crush. But it was times such as these, when Kili had had too much to drink, when he became careless and wanton, though Fili should have been used to his brother’s ways by now, it still drove him mad with want and fear when his brother dared get dangerously close to him in public.  
Just as his brother’s hand was about to grasp his hardness through his clothing, Fili stood abruptly, ignoring Kili’s soft whine at his movement.

“I must take my leave,” he said, hoping the warm smile he gave to the table at large was convincing, “I’m afraid I’ve had a little too much ale on top of a hard day. I shall fall asleep where I sit if I stay any longer.” 

“Very well,” Thorin flashed him a brief smile from the head of the table, “rest well, nephew. You will need your wits for tomorrow.”

Fili tried not to grimace as he thought about the seemingly endless council meetings planned for the next morning. Thorin’s grooming him to take the throne after him had been expected, but that didn’t mean it wasn’t a burden. “Yes, thank you.”

“Fili,” Bilbo smiled at him, “would you like me to walk up with you? I was thinking of turning in soon myself.” After the taking back of the mountain, Thorin had invited Bilbo to remain with them as long as he desired. The hobbit had taken up the offer with delight, planning on staying at least a year or two, to see the once great realm of Erebor he had heard so much about flourish to its former glory before returning home to the Shire. Of this Fili was glad; more than once Bilbo had proved himself a treasured friend indeed, when the duties that came with his position weighed on Fili’s shoulders.

“That’s alright Bilbo, I’ll manage.”

“In that case, goodnight,” the hobbit raised his glass to him.

“Goodnight, everybody.” 

Fili smiled at the chorus of ‘goodnights’ that came from his companions, but jolted back towards the door when he felt a hand roughly grasp at his rear. Resisting the temptation to smack his brother upside the head for being so stupid, Fili simply bowed and left the room. The others had already returned to drinking. 

Half an hour later, he heard the heavy scrape of his chamber door being opened, swiftly followed by a warm body sliding into bed next to him, pressing sloppy kisses to his neck and smelling of ale and pipe smoke. Arms slid around him and pulled him close, and it took every ounce of Fili’s willpower not to simply lean back into Kili’s embrace. He could feel his brother’s hardness pressing into his back, and his own cock perked up at the thought. But no, Kili had been reckless and stupid, and Fili was not about to reward him for such behaviour. 

“No Kili,” he sighed and pulled out of his brother’s grasp to sit up, “you’re drunk, go to bed.”

“I don’t want to,” Kili said simply as he toyed with the laces of Fili’s shirt, “I’d rather stay with you.” The grin he gave Fili was dripping with intent. 

“You know you can’t. It’s still early, and there are too many people about; someone could hear, or see you leaving my rooms.” Fili had explained this countless times before, but it was something Kili never quite seemed to grasp when there had been drink involved. 

“Alright,” Kili agreed, “Then I’ll come back later.”

“No, Kili,” he said, exasperated, “you will not come back later. You will go to your own rooms, and you will go to sleep.”

“Why are you being such an arse about this Fili?” Kili said as he leant to continue pressing little kisses along his neck.

“I’m being ‘such an arse’ about it,” Fili hissed and pulled away, “because you just can’t get it through your thick head that we can’t let anyone see how things truly are. It wounds me, Kili, that we must hide how we feel about each other from the world, but I will not risk our lives just so you can indulge in a drunken fumble under the table.”

Kili, apparently sobering a little at his brother’s repetition of the harsh truth of their situation, sighed deeply and pressed their foreheads together in a gesture of affection. “I know. I – I’m sorry. You’re right, as you always are.”

“Not always Kili.” He ran his fingers through Kili’s mussed hair. “No one can always be right. And I’m sorry too, for landing you in this sorry situation, when you could have easily loved another.”

“And you call me stupid,” Kili said with a huff of laughter, “I could never have loved another, and you know it.”

“Yes, I do.” He pressed a soft kiss to Kili lips, to let him know he was forgiven, “now get to bed with you. And don’t forget we’re going into town tomorrow afternoon when the council session is over. I want to find something special for mother’s birthday.” It would be her first since returning to Erebor, and the boys planned to make it perfect for her.

Kili rolled his eyes as he stood, “of course I won’t forget.” Just before he reached the door, he turned to smile at Fili, only half visible in the dark, “I love you, nadad.”

“I love you too,” Fili said quietly, but Kili had already returned to his own rooms. 

~*~

Dale was busy, full of dust and bustling people going about their business, all trying to get what they wanted for the best price. It was noisy, full of stall owners listing the benefits of their wares, children playing and animals calling to each other. It was impressive really, how quickly the town had regained some of its former vigour after the dragon was slain. There were still reminders here and there, in the small piles of rubble yet to be cleared, or the odd house still standing vacant and half ruined, the stone blackened by dragon fire. But on a sunny, busy day, it was easy to forget.   
The noise and anonymity of the town was exactly what Fili needed after the dull morning spent in the council chambers, trying his hardest to meet people’s expectations of him. He had tried to listen for Thorin’s sake, and he would need all the experience he could get, if he were to one day take over the throne from his uncle. But that seemed blessedly far away, and it was easy for his mind to wander. Kili had looked equally bored, seated a little further down the table to the side of Balin. He did look surprisingly clear-headed however, after last night. Fili didn’t know if he was impressed or jealous of his little brother’s ability to handle his drink. But the stillness of the stone and the musk of old papers was forgotten as the pair wove their way between the stalls, breathing the warm afternoon air and browsing the goods in search of the perfect gift.   
There were few in Dale who would know them by sight; the town itself being mainly occupied by men, and the few dwarves present would be merchants and traders, unfamiliar with the appearance of the line of Durin. With that in mind, Fili let himself go a little, allowing himself the odd touch against Kili’s fingers, or sliding his palm over the small of Kili’s back. 

“What about something from here?” Kili nodded to one of the several dwarf-owned jewellery stands, full of glittering gems and finely engraved metal.

“If we’re going to get her jewellery, you know she’d prefer something we’ve made ourselves,” Fili said with a frown. A gift produced by the hands of her precious sons would be worth more than most things, to the lady Dis. 

“Ugh, I know,” Kili sighed and scrubbed his hand through his hair, “but I’ve no patience for engraving, and I’m awful at setting gems.”

“We both are,” Fili agreed, “let’s get her something else.” Having been raised in exile in Ered Luin, the finer arts of the dwarvish culture had been overlooked when it came to the boys; they had been taught more practical things, such as hunting and feeding themselves as well as the necessary weapons skills. The more detailed crafts and traditions of the dwarves, including the art of making fine jewellery, had been put aside in favour of survival. As their mother had often told them at the time, needs must.

“We’ll be here all night at this rate,” Kili frowned as an idea came to him, “how about we split up?”

“Alright,” Fili agreed, “you go to the fabric merchant and see what he’s got; something from Rohan if you can get it, you know how she likes it.”

Kili wrinkled his nose in distaste at the task, but agreed nonetheless. “Alright. And you?”

“I’ll head to the Gondorian book-seller. Meet you back here in an hour?”

“Yes,” Kili bent slightly to press a quick kiss to Fili’s lips, curse his abnormal height, “good luck.”

“Mmm,” Fili hummed absently in agreement as he watched Kili weave his way through the crowd. Unfortunately, he wasn’t the only one watching. Living so many years in close quarters with others, he should have known how quickly a rumour could spread.

~*~

“You’re sure?”

“Not certain, no. But how many dwarves do you know that match that description?”

“Not many.”

“Exactly.” 

“But it’s a big accusation to make if we’re wrong...”

“What’s this?”

“I believe I saw to two princes in town together earlier.”

“...So? That’s hardly gossip.”

“You misunderstand me. Unless I am very much mistaken, I saw them acting in a way most... un-brotherly.”

“Oh Mahal. Can you be sure?”

“No, that’s the problem. It’s too big a risk to take if I’m wrong.”

“I have a friend who may be able to help; he has eyes in all the right places.”

“Alright.”

“And I have a niece who is an acquaintance of the lady Dis. I’ll ask her to keep an eyes open.”

“I think we’ll all be keeping our eyes open, from now on.”

~*~

“Is it just me,” Kili said as he swung his leg over the bench to sit next to Fili, “or have people been looking at us strangely today?”

Fili frowned and looked briefly around the hall. “I haven’t noticed,” he answered truthfully, pulling apart the meat on his plate so it could cool.

“Well, they have,” Kili replied with certainty as he took a bite out of a hunk of bread, “Do you think it’s because of how spectacularly I beat you in the weapons ring this morning?” He smirked.

Fili snorted, “No, I think it’s because you’re disgusting. Eat with your mouth closed, you animal.”

Kili gave him a playful shove and returned to his meal. They ate in silence for a while, oblivious to the occasional sideways glances the dwarves eating around them cast their way.

“Would you like to go to the bath houses later?” Fili said quietly, and Kili raised a brow at him, knowing what it was he was really asking.

“I would like that very much,” he said with a hungry smile, “but maybe not the bath houses; they’ll be full of people at this time of day. And besides,” he lowered his voice further, “we used there last time.”

“Quite right,” Fili said with a grin as he remembered the last time they had been able to sneak off together for some privacy. They had to alternate where they would go for their trysts in order to decrease the chances of discovery – it was usually in one of their beds late at night, sometimes the bath houses, and even the woods that covered the lower slopes of the mountain on one memorable occasion. “How about the tunnel?”

“Perfect,” said Kili with a nod and a barely hidden leer. The tunnel referred to an old section of the mountain that had been half destroyed when the dragon came, and had yet to be repaired. There were many such places in the vast mountain that were still in a similar state; the parts that were necessary for living in had been seen to first. 

An hour or so later, just as most inhabitants of Erebor were sitting down to a late evening meal or an ale with friends after a hard day, the two princes wound their way deeper into the mountain, drawing close to the place they knew they needn’t fear prying eyes. The mere anticipation of it was getting Fili worked up; his skin was hot and his need for his brother stirring in his belly. It didn’t help that Kili would press him up against the dark stone walls every now and then to steal a kiss. With a groan made up half of desperation and half of irritation at Kili for being so reckless, Fili would push him away and walk faster.   
When they eventually made it to the seclusion of their tunnel, Fili shoved Kili up against the wall, none to gently, kissing him long and slow, getting him back for every taunting, teasing kiss he had taken from him on the way there. It was worth it for the way Kili twisted beneath him, fingers wound in Fili’s hair as he tried vainly to pull him closer.

“How shall I take you?” Fili said between kisses.

“I don’t care,” Kili replied, his voice low and rasping, and how Fili loved it most, “just do it, now. We’ve waited long enough.” Fili had to agree there; it had been at least three weeks since they’d last managed to be together in this sense, maybe more, and they were both close to breaking point.

“Oh really?” Fili purred as he nipped gently at Kili’s lip, before moving lower to press kisses down his neck, pulling at the laces of his shirt to get to his chest, “are you sure? Do you want me to take you like this – standing against the wall – like a cheap whore in an alleyway?” Kili growled and rolled his hips up to meet Fili’s, the older barely managing to keep himself in check. “Or shall I have you on your back, legs hooked over my shoulders so I can bury myself as deep into your body as I can possibly be? Or maybe,” he added, twisting one of Kili’s nipples between his fingers, “I should take you on your hands and knees, like an animal in heat.” 

“All have their own merit,” said Kili with a frown, as though he were giving serious consideration to the crude words his brother had spoken, “but you’ve missed one.”

“Oh? What – “

Fili’s words were cut off as Kili gripped his arms hard, and spun them around so it was Fili pressed against the wall, his nose to the cold stone as Kili pinned him with the length of his body, his chest to Fili’s back. Fili could feel his brother’s growing arousal against his arse, and only his pride prevented him from pushing back onto him.

“I know what it is you love most,” Kili’s words were hushed and warm at the back of Fili’s neck, and even his pride could not stop the shiver that went through him at that.

“And what’s – what’s that?”

“My tongue on you,” Kili said simply as he ran his hands down Fili’s back, his hips, and stopping on his backside, grasping firmly, “you would take it every day if you could: my mouth on you, tongue inside you, holding you open in a way you would never let another.”

“Enough talk, brother,” Fili spat as he shoved Kili away, and dragged over the old furs they kept in the tunnel for times such as this. The cold stone wasn’t kind to their unclothed bodies, and though they endured and indeed appreciated many kinds of sweet torture from each other, that was not one of them. “Just come here,” he held out a hand, “please. I need you.”

Not needing to be told twice, Kili closed the gap between them and fell heavily into Fili’s arms, knocking them both onto the pile of furs. “And I need you. Always.” Fili barely registered his brother’s quiet words through their kisses and his haze of lust, but he needn’t have heard anyway; he already knew.  
It didn’t take long after that for words to be forgotten altogether, as they gave in to their bodies instead. True, they had only been with each other in this particular sense for a year or so, but they had spent all their life previous to that in close proximity, sharing laughter, meals, and beds, and each knew the other as well as themselves.   
In their desperation for each other, they were clumsy and heavy handed, biting and growling as they wrestled for domination of the kisses. By the end of their struggle, Fili had won, and he sat straddled across his brother, pinning his hands above his head as they kissed fiercely. Both were down to their underwear, a film of sweat across their skin and sticky in their chest hair, despite the cool air of the tunnel.  
Fili had the sneaking suspicion that his brother had let him win, a thought confirmed when he felt Kili’s hand dip into his underwear, grasping him in a soft, teasing hold as Fili hissed into his mouth.

A sharp intake of breath made them both freeze and look up. There, not far from the tunnel entrance, a young dwarf who Fili vaguely recognised from the council was staring at them, a dull flush across his cheeks.

“I apologise,” he started awkwardly, half turning away, “this tunnel was thought to be empty. I didn’t expect anyone to be –“ he stopped suddenly, eyes widening almost comically as he realised just who it was he had caught in the act, as it were. “Oh, Mahal save me...”

The princes could do nothing but stare back in shock, never in a thousand years did they think that this could happen. The tunnel had been deserted ever since they’d retaken the mountain, why, on this day of all days, had someone chosen to wander down it? It was a harsh reminder of how lucky they’d been before then – they’d thought they’d been safe, but in reality they’d never been so. 

“What is it lad?” called a familiar voice, and Fili’s heart sank still further, “I know the tunnels are in a state, but surely it can’t be that bad – oh, goodness gracious,” Bofur finished as he came around the corner, another three or four dwarves trailing behind him, all stopping short as they took in the sight of the boys sprawled out on the floor in front of them.   
Fili was still in shock, the only thought in his head the dim recognition that his brother’s hand was still clasped around his cock. There were a few moments of never-ending silence as both parties simply stared at each other in horror and confusion. Fili could hear the pulse of his own blood, his heart was hammering so hard. The shocked silence was broken however, when one of the older dwarves had come to his senses and called for the guards who stood watch all over the mountain.

“Guards!” He spun towards the tunnel entrance, still shouting louder than seemed possible, harsh and echoing, and Fili felt the whole mountain would hear him. “Guards! Here, now!”

The commotion he was causing roused the brothers from their petrified state on the floor, and they both scrambled up to better defend themselves, when they finally grasped what was happening. 

“No!” Kili’s strangled yell was what moved Fili to reach for the knife he kept with him at all times, now on the floor with his pile of clothing. He knew it would do no good – he couldn’t use it against the guards, it would only make the situation worse – but his instincts were screaming at him to defend himself and his kin from harm any way he could. Just as his fingers closed around the hilt, he was seized roughly by a large member of the royal guard and pulled upright, arms behind his back.

“Fili!” Kili barged forwards to help him, but was grabbed by another of the soldiers, and though he fought viciously, it was hopeless. He let out a gasp of pain as the dwarf wrenched his arms behind his back also.

“Unhand him,” Fili growled, and tugged in vain against his own captor, “let him be. As your prince, I command you.” 

The old dwarf who had summoned the guard laughed bitterly, “I hardly think you’re in a position to be commanding anyone, _my prince_ ,” the title was spoken with a mocking sneer as his eyes took in the boys in their dishevelled state.

Fili felt a dull flush creep up his face and neck as he realised his arousal would be easily visible through his underwear; though how it had lasted through the terrible shock of discovery was beyond him. But he paled again when the realisation of what their discovery meant hit him. The punishment for lying with one of your own blood... He looked up to see the older dwarves eyeing them both with disgust and contempt, and the younger who had discovered them had his eyes fixed on the ground. Bofur had been silent for the entire exchange, eyeing them sadly, knowing there was little he could do for his friends, and anything he did say could only make it worse. 

“You will burn for this, and you know it,” the old dwarf spoke, and Fili knew beyond a doubt he was right. That didn’t stop him from hoping though; hoping that some miracle would intervene and save him and his baby brother from the fate of criminals. “You have broken one of the most revered laws set down by the ancestors of our people, and you must pay for it. Not even your titles will save you from your crime.” Another two guards clattered into tunnel, weapons raised as though they were expecting a dangerous enemy. The dwarf elder nodded in greeting and turned back to the entrance. “Get them properly clothed, it would not help the rest of the mountain to see their princes so indecent. Then take them to the cells, where they belong. We must speak with the King.” With that, the group of dwarves who had discovered them left without a backward glance, except for Bofur, who looked desperately like he wanted to say something comforting, but knew there was nothing he could say to make this better. Fili was numb with shock, fear, and a strange sense of acceptance. Some part of him had always known they would one day be discovered. He allowed himself to be dressed roughly by a guard, though Kili fought back with vigour, snarling and lashing out like a fox caught in a trap. Mahal bless his brother.

~*~

Though Fili should have known he and his brother would be separated in the holding cells, he could never have guessed it would be in such a cruel manner. They were in separate cells, the walls smooth and dark, just as the rest of the stone under the mountain was. The dwarves always took pride in their craft, even if its purpose was to house criminals, though Fili still couldn’t find it in him to think of himself or his brother as such. It could never be a crime to love. He was chained to one such wall by his wrists, held up above his head by chains that were crafted well enough not to rub and bite into his skin too hard. He couldn’t tell whether that was because of plain good craftsmanship, or because care had been taken due to the rank he and Kili held; though he sincerely doubted it was the latter.   
He looked through the bars of his cell to the one opposite, where his brother was chained in a similar fashion, though he was slumped against the wall, unconscious. Even now, Fili was proud of his little brother for fighting so hard against those who had tried to keep them apart, though it had earned him a blow to the head to quieten him. There was no blood, so Fili tried in vain not to worry that Kili was injured too seriously. It was the worst kind of torture; to be stuck in a position where he could clearly see his brother, alone and possibly injured, but he could not go to him. When Kili woke, they would be able to witness each other in their misery, but never touch or comfort. 

He drifted in and out of an uneasy sleep after that, for how long, he didn’t know. When he woke, it was to his brother calling to him from the back of his cell.

“Fili,” his whisper was harsh and loud in the thick silence of the cells, “Fili, are you awake?”

“I –“ it took Fili a moment to gather his thoughts and remember where he was. When he did, it was as though his heart had dropped right out of his chest and fallen into the deepest chasm of Erebor. “Yes. I am.”

“I’m so sorry, Fili, so very sorry,” he could hear the soft clank of chains as Kili struggled against his bonds, “you always said we must be careful, but I never –“

“Quiet in there!” Kili’s words were cut short as the burly guard who had held him back when they were caught threw open the barred door to his cell. “I have no interest in hearing your worthless words, you incestuous whelp.” He glared down at him, and Fili was just about to call out something in his brother’s defence, when Kili reared back and spat in the guard’s face.

“You bastard!” The dwarf shouted as the spit ran down the side of his cheek and caught in his beard, “I’ll teach you to – “ instead of finishing his sentence, he brought his hand down hard across Kili’s cheek, a resounding slap echoing through the prison. Staring in absolute horror at the angry red mark rapidly growing on his little brother’s face, Fili began to bellow every insult he could think of in the direction of the dwarf who’d hit him; though afterwards, he was unable to recall exactly what he’d said. 

“Enough!” A deep, familiar voice came from the prison doorway and cut Fili’s cursing short. He snapped his head in the direction of the shout, in time to see Thorin striding down the corridor towards their cells, flanked by Dwalin, as he ever was. Ignoring Fili for the moment now he was silent, their uncle marched into Kili’s cell where the guard was looking determinedly at his own feet.

“I – I meant no disrespect to your family, my king. I was only doing my duty as –“

“I know exactly what you were doing,” Thorin cut him off smoothly, and Fili had never been more grateful to see his uncle in his life, “but it would do for you to remember that these dwarves are still your princes, and despite the – the situation, you shall still treat them with a degree of respect. Do you understand?” The soldier mumbled something in reply, still looking at the floor. “I said, do you understand?” Thorin barked.

“Yes, my king.” The dwarf dropped a hasty bow and left the cell as quickly as he could manage, earning a scowl from Dwalin on his way out.

“Dwalin,” Thorin held out his hand and Dwalin tossed him a key, with which he quickly unlocked the metal cuffs around his youngest nephew’s wrists before pulling him into a tight hug. Meanwhile, Dwalin unlocked Fili’s cell and loosed his chains also. The moment he was free, he sped over the other cell as fast as his unsteady legs would allow, and threw himself at his uncle and brother as though he were a dwarfling again. Thorin lifted his arm to pull them both into the embrace, muttering soft reassurances of little meaning, like he would when they were young and in fear of what life would bring. 

“You know what I must do,” Thorin said softly when they had both calmed a little, still running his fingers through their hair. “If I don’t maintain my honour as king by upholding the laws our great ancestors set in the stone, there will be open rebellion among the dwarves of Erebor.” His voice cracked, “I will be dismissed as a weak king, exiled, or possibly put to death, along with your mother and our supporters. In all likelihood, the mountain will fall into chaos and civil war.”

Kili looked as though he was about to say something in anger that he would probably regret, but Fili spoke before he had the chance. “We know, Uncle.” He stepped out of the embrace and stood straight, as he had been taught. “It is something we have brought upon ourselves,” he continued, willing the tremor out of his voice, “and though it is not something I will apologise for, it is also not something I will see anyone else suffer for, if I can help it. Though it may be too late for that,” he added grimly as he thought of their poor mother, and how many of those she loved had already been lost.

Thorin smiled sadly and pulled him back into his arms. “Spoken with honour,” he said gently, “I am proud of you.”

“Are we to burn then, uncle?” Kili said quietly, his eyes not meeting either of them, and it broke Fili’s heart to see his brave and beautiful brother so diminished. It was the harshest execution method known to dwarf kind – as in death it was custom for them to be returned to the stone – and reserved only for the most serious of crimes; treason, murder, and rape among them. As a young dwarf, it hadn’t been clear to Fili why incest was included in these crimes – surely to love someone could never be bad? And now, though he understood the reasoning behind it better, the need for such a harsh punishment, or indeed any punishment at all, escaped him. 

Something hardened in Thorin’s eyes at his words. “No,” he said with a determination that surprised Fili, given his quiet demeanour a moment before, “No. I will not see you burn, my boys. I may not be able to save your lives, but I promise you this; I will not let your ending come by fire. Too many dwarves have suffered that fate in my lifetime, family and otherwise. I do not wish to witness such a thing again.” He touched his forehead gently to Fili’s, and then to Kili’s. “They will want to make a spectacle of you, I’m afraid. There will be a public trial.”

Fili nodded and grasped his brother’s hand. He had expected nothing less. 

“I cannot leave you both in the same cell either, I’m afraid,” said Thorin a little awkwardly. “I’m sure you understand why.”

“We understand,” sighed Kili, as he shuffled closer into his brother’s arms, ducking to rest his head under Fili’s chin. 

“But neither will I have you chained up like criminals.” Fili chose not to point out that in the eyes of dwarven law, they technically _were_ criminals. “You shall have to be kept in separate cells, but you will have the freedom to move around as you please. And I will have you put next to each other, so you may at least be close, and speak through the – through the bars.” He finished with an uncomfortable frown. 

“Thank you,” said Fili, though he didn’t feel particularly thankful.

“I shall speak with the jailer,” Thorin nodded and left the two of them alone, clearly giving them a moment of privacy before they were separated again. 

They didn’t kiss each other in a passionate frenzy, as one would expect of the doomed lovers of the great stories. They simply held each other, close and warm, in a way that hadn’t changed much since they were children. The only thing that was different this time was that they knew it may be the last time they were able to do so.

~*~

Their trial was every bit as awful as Fili knew it would be. They were led in chains by guards (carefully, after Thorin had had words with the dwarf in the cells) to the great council chamber, where such things had always taken place. Or so they were told – they had obviously not lived under the mountain in its heyday, when such large events and rituals were more commonplace. It was rarely used for the actual council meetings, the matters often being more trivial and not requiring the full council to sort whatever the problem may be. There was also no need to accommodate half the population of the Erebor who were curious to find out for themselves if the rumours about their incestuous princes were true. As such, the great stone hall was packed full with rows upon rows of dwarves, silently looking down upon them as they were led into the room, though whether their silence was respectful or just plain shocked, Fili was unsure.   
As it was with all trials and legal matters, the King under the Mountain had the final word. As such, it was Thorin sitting front and centre, Balin at his left and Dwalin at his right, stony faced as his sister-sons were led before him in chains. Understandably, the boys were feeling sorry for themselves, and it was hard to pity Thorin for the difficult position their forbidden love had put him in, but all the same it hurt to know that they were the ones who’d put that sour expression on his face.   
After that it was a blur of official sounding and heavy handed words. Though Fili had been taught well by his uncle and Balin in matters of court, it was a lot harder to make sense of it all when it was directed at you. He tried his very best not to listen to the witnesses called up to the stand, to tell in their own words of the ‘corruption,’ ‘sickness,’ and ‘abomination’ that they had seen when they turned the corner into the old tunnel. Fili knew it would have just made him angry, and that was the last thing any of them needed. Next to him, Kili was clenching his fists so hard his knuckles had gone white. Fili could practically hear him grinding his teeth in rage at the disgust clear in the accusations against them. He would have given anything to be able to reach across and pull him into a hug, or rub soothing circles onto his wrist.  
The only witness account he did listen to was Bofur’s – it was hard to block out a well-loved voice, no matter what it was saying. 

“Could you please tell us, Bofur son of Banfur, under oath to Mahal himself, what you saw on the evening in question?”

“A small group of us, miners by trade, and familiar with the workings of tunnels fallen into disrepair, had been called up to have a poke around the old structures. You know, see what was salvageable, and the like. I heard the young’n here give a shout, and when I rounded the corner, I saw – I saw the two dwarves in question in each other’s embrace on the floor of the tunnel. That is all I have to say.”

Again, it was hard to pity Bofur, when Fili was aware of the fate that awaited him and his brother, but he could appreciate it would have been hard for him to speak out against two who he essentially counted as family. He was grateful for Bofur’s neutral and brief response, free of the violent disgust the other accounts given had been. Unfortunately, that counted for little – there was still no way Bofur could deny what he had seen, and no amount of love and respect or the princes could change the illegality of their actions.  
Fili was so lost within the haze of his own discomforting thoughts, that he almost missed the announcement of their sentence: 

“Fili son of Narin, and Kili son of Narin: you are found guilty of the crime of incest, and are sentenced to execution by beheading.”

In a twisted way, Fili was proud of his uncle in that moment. That he could sentence his own nephews to death without any sign of a tremor in his voice was impressive. It was good for a king to be able to keep a hand on his emotions. Fili had prayed that he would make as good a king as Thorin – but wait, that wasn’t going to happen anymore, was it?

~*~ 

After the trial, not long after Fili and Kili had been taken back to their cells, Thorin once again came down, and demanded they be released for a moment. He had held them close, much as he had on his first visit.   
“This is not how I wanted your time in Erebor to end. You should have been kings, old, grey and peaceful.”  
And as the three of them knelt on the floor of the cell together, in a desperate embrace that could quiet possibly be their last, Fili knew he could never blame Thorin for what he’d had to do. He probably would have taken their places, if he could. He must have been able to intervene in some way though, to have the manner of their death altered, just as he had promised he would. There was, unsurprisingly, little comfort to be had in this. It also struck him that he had never seen Thorin cry before. He did not feel any better for having witnessed it. 

Thorin had left, with the promise to send down their mother as soon as she felt able, and Fili and Kili were locked back in their separate cells. Kili was asleep, or at least his eyes were closed, as he leant against the bars keeping them apart, his hand gently holding Fili’s through the tiny gap. They would be given no such luxury as a last night together, as it would have been highly inappropriate given the nature of their crime, but Fili would have liked one, though he doubted he’d be capable of anything more than holding Kili as close to himself as he possibly could. The looming thought of imminent death rather killed any sexual appetite. 

Later on, after having more time to dwell on it, Fili felt little more than grim acceptance at the verdict; he had always known that if he and his brother were to die before their time they would die together. He knew of his uncle Frerin’s untimely death, and the pain it still caused his mother and uncle. He wished no such hurt on himself or Kili. There was a time when Fili had believed that to be their fate, as they had fought for their lives on the slopes of Erebor, orcs closing in and the eagles circling above. But when they had both remarkably survived, he had foolishly thought that that would be the end of their bad luck, and they would both die old and content. But he should have known from the history books that very few lives of those of the line of Durin had ended happily. 

“Fili?”

Fili jumped a little at his brother’s voice, having believed him to be asleep. “Mmm?”

“Do you regret this? What we’ve done?”

There was only one truthful answer to that. “No. Never.”

“Even though we are to die because of it?”

“No.”

“Good,” Kili said simply, and Fili could hear the smile in his voice. “Neither do I. I think I would have been miserable to live in any other way – to be alive and yet not loved by you.”

“But I would have loved you anyway. Even just as a brother, I have loved you from the moment you opened your eyes,” the suggestion that there could be any other truth was quite frankly ridiculous.

“I know, but you misunderstand me.” Kili shifted a little, so he could look at Fili properly from where he sat. “What I mean is that I’m grateful we had this time together as lovers. I’m glad we knew such happiness, even though it was only for a short time. We could have lived another hundred years side by side as brothers, and I could never feel as happy, as whole, as when you kiss me.”

“My my,” said Fili in an attempt not to reveal how close to tears his brother’s admission had brought him, “that was rather soft, for you.”

“I know,” Kili was grinning again, though it was a mere fraction of its usual brilliance, and if there was one image Fili could wish for to send him on his way to the halls of Mandos, it would be that one, “I have my moments.” 

~*~

_“Happy birthday, brother,” Kili grinned at him, and though he was outwardly cheerful, Fili could see he was agitated by something._

_“Thank you.”_

_“How does it feel then? To have your first birthday officially under the mountain?” Kili was biting at his thumbnail, and yes, that was a sure sign of anxiety in his little brother._

_“Largely the same as any other birthday,” said Fili with a smile as he leant back and pulled his pipe out of his pocket, “but I suppose I’m a bit more grateful for this one, considering all the times we nearly didn’t make it this far.”_

_At his admission, Kili crossed the room to press their foreheads together, gently touching the shoulder Fili had injured badly during the Battle of the Five Armies. “I’m grateful you made it to. I thank Mahal for it every day.”_

_Fili swallowed. “I – I know.” Though it wasn’t uncommon for he and Kili to exchange words of warmth and love for each other, they had taken on a slightly different tone in the last month or so, and every hug, endearment, or accidental touch seemed to have a whole new meaning. Kili’s forehead was still touching his own, and Fili knew he had to say something soon or they would have gone beyond the point of no return. “Kili, I –“_

_“Please don’t Fili,” Kili pulled back a little to look at him, glint of anger in his eyes, “Don’t you dare. Don’t you close off from me now.”_

_“I don’t mean to Kili,” Fili rubbed his eyes in frustration, “I want to, more than anything, but we can’t give in to this. If we were caught –“_

_“I don’t care.”_

_“You should.”_

_“Just be quiet and let me give you your gift,” Kili’s hands were gently holding the sides of his face, and Fili’s breath caught when he saw the look in his little brother’s eyes._

_“Alright.”_

_Permission given, Kili closed the gap between them and kissed his brother. As their kiss deepened, hands twining in each other’s hair, Fili wondered how he had lived so long without this. He found himself smiling into their kiss, Kili feeling it and pulling back to laugh softly, arms tight around his big brother. If each person was allowed one moment of pure happiness, Fili thought that maybe this was his._

~*~

They had lost track of time in the darkness of their cells and closed off from the rest of the mountain; though they could guess roughly from the times their meals were brought to them. Fili was half asleep when one of the soldiers marched self-importantly to their cells, two young dwarves carrying a bowl of water and a pile of fabric trailing in his wake. 

“Today’s the day boys,” he said grimly as he unlocked the door to Fili’s cell. “These lads are here to tidy you up a bit.”

Kili snorted, hand still grasping Fili’s through the bars. “And what exactly is the point of that?” He said with a sneer, “If we’re about to die, then what on earth is the point of ‘tidying us up?’”

“Believe me, boy,” the guard growled, “if it were up to me, you’d be clothed in rags and left in the state you’re already in, before meeting your maker like the criminals you are. I’d have your beards too, but your uncle – the king – has forbidden it.”

Fili raised his eyebrow in dull surprise. Usually, when a dwarf was found guilty of a serious crime, their beard and any meaningful braids would have been cut off in a clear message that the accused had committed a grave crime. It was the ultimate symbol of shame. And yet, once again, Thorin had intervened to save them the humiliation.  
Kili was about to bite back with another scathing retort, but Fili shushed him before he could do so.

“Very well,” he said gruffly, as one of the dwarves set down the bowl of water, “get to it then.”

He allowed the unknown boy to gently wash his face of the grime of the prison. If the dull flush across the boy’s face was anything to go by, he felt just as uncomfortable with the arrangement as Fili did. The other young dwarf moved to stand behind him, finger-combing his hair free of most of the knots, and tying it back with a strip of leather. Fili wondered at this for a moment, before remembering the manner in which he was to die. A practicality, then.  
As Fili dressed in the clean, but modest clothes brought for him, the two dwarves moved to the next cell to tend to his brother. Kili wasn’t nearly so co-operative, growling as they scrubbed at his face and pulled his hair back. Fili would have laughed at the picture he made, but... well, this wasn’t the time for laughter.

The task was complete, and four large guards, two for each prince, came to collect them. It was hardly necessary, but Fili supposed it was another gesture of grandeur at their expense. Dwarves liked things done properly, with security and finality. He managed to brush his hand briefly against his brother’s as they were led from their cells and towards the exit. He had meant it as a comfort, but the choked sob Kili made at the contact almost made him regret it.   
In the doorway of the prison, two figures waited for them: Thorin and their mother. There was nothing left to say at this point, nothing to keep the crushing misery that had befallen their family at bay. Instead, they each touched foreheads with their uncle and then their mother one last time. From the folds of her dress, Dis produced the two matching hair clasps the brothers had always worn – they had been taken from them upon their arrest. Silently, she clipped one each back where they belonged; in the hair of her children. Though they were made redundant by the leather tying their hair back, the sentiment was more than appreciated. She would not have them die without something to show their heritage, and their honour, as was custom. With one last long look, they took their leave, and left Fili and Kili alone with the guards once again. 

Fili didn’t even have the strength to feel panic anymore, as he and Kili were led once again towards the great council chamber where their execution was to take place. Such practises were incredibly private to the dwarves, and as such never took place in the open if it could be helped. There was a dull sense of fear, and of apprehension, at the back of his mind, but it was mostly pushed aside by a strong wall of denial that this had really come to pass. The only thing he wished at that moment was that he could see his brother – each of them were being led by a soldier at each arm, being so wide when put together that Kili had to be led behind him.

They entered the council chamber, the dark stone glittering with the thousands of tiny lamps lighting the room. The ceiling was so high, Fili could barely see the top of it. But he’d rather look into that emptiness than at the crowds, who, as on the day of their trial, were packed tightly into the rows of seating, straining to catch a glimpse of the condemned. Their jeering and taunting could clearly be heard, though there was nothing even Thorin could do about that. The crowd wasn’t stupid though – they stuck to insults related to the crime the boys had committed, rather than calling their family name or honour into the question; to do so would mean a direct insult to the king.  
As they approached the temporary platform set up, Fili couldn’t help but look at those who had gathered near the front. He nearly choked when he saw Bilbo, face set in determination not to cry, though there were already tears on his face. Thorin had told them Bilbo was refusing to attend their execution in protest to ‘the barbaric upholding of outdated dwarven laws,’ but apparently he had decided to be there in the end, for Fili and Kili, his friends. Fili gave him a tiny nod in thanks for his attendance, though he was unsure if the hobbit noticed. He was deeply sorry Bilbo’s stay in Erebor had led to him witnessing this, of all things. Bofur was there, of course, and Fili wished he could spare the kind dwarf the guilt clearly written across his face – it was not his fault. Bifur was at his side, looking distinctly uncomfortable, but there all the same. Dwalin was eyeing up the jeering crowd as though he wished to punch every one of them in the jaw for the insults they were hurling at the boys. Thank Mahal for Dwalin. Ori was there, with his brothers, though Fili suspected it would have taken a great amount of persuasion for Dori to let his little brother attend an execution. As for the others, Fili assumed they were at home with their wives and children. Their crime had been terrible and depraved in the eyes of many, and some of the most conservative dwarves would not have wished to attend the deaths of those who had lain with their own blood. He understood. Were he in their position, he would not wish to witness it either. Their mother and uncle were seated in the balcony above the platform with Balin. Fili did not look at them. He didn’t think he could bear it.

They were led up the wooden steps of the platform, and brought before the two wooden blocks, facing the crowd. Their hands were bound, so they could not reach out to each other; there could be no last touch for them. The firm grasp on his shoulder reminded Fili what of he was to do next. He and Kili knelt before the blocks, knees shaking as they lowered themselves to the floor. Their crime and sentence was repeated out loud for the benefit of the crowd by Balin, though Fili chose not to listen. He’d had enough of being told that the love he felt for his brother was wrong. He turned his head ever so slightly to lock eyes with Kili one last time. He gave his baby brother a tearful smile, which Kili returned with a choking noise halfway between a laugh and a sob as he rested his chin on the block before him. Fili did the same, closing his eyes. He wanted Kili to be the last thing he saw. They were to be executed at the exact same time – another strange show of mercy – so that one did not have to live even for a second without the other. He tried to ignore the hulking presence of the two dwarves flanking them on the platform, each with an axe in hand, but that proved hard to do when he knew said axe was destined for his neck.

Each had his eyes closed, trying desperately to think only of the good times, which had been surprisingly rare given their birthright as princes of the line of Durin. There were the simple things; evenings at home by the fire with Thorin and their mother before their father had died, good food and good stories, and each other, always each other. The night they had stood side by side on Bilbo’s doorstep, ready for the biggest adventure of their lives – the only big adventure, as it turned out. When they had stood on the slopes of Erebor, bleeding and exhausted, but alive. The day that Thorin had officially been crowned King under the Mountain, all his years of exile and misery finally at an end, and it was worth every moment of suffering to see the smile on his face as the dwarves of Erebor drank to his health. The first time they had kissed, the first time they had made love, and come apart under each other’s touch, which despite its elicit nature had always been a moment of pure joy for them both. Every moment spent at each other’s side, the good and the bad, the golden lion and the dark raven, the sun and the moon.   
It was like standing on the edge of a cliff mere moments before falling, and not knowing what was waiting for you at the bottom. They hoped it was a field of yellow flowers, fresh and bright and teeming with life, or a rushing river, clear and cool. But there was no way of knowing until you got there, so for now, all they could do was look up to the vast blue sky and hope for the best as they fell.   
They had no time to register the swing of the axes as they came down. And then, quite simply, their story was ended. For them, there was no more.

**Author's Note:**

> I really don't know where this came from. Usually I don't read/write anything with a 'major character death' warning, but this literally wrote itself *shrug* It's a pretty heavy subject, I hope I did it justice.  
> As a side note, in my headcanon incest among dwarves isn't much of a big deal - there being only one love in each dwarf's life and all. So I really do not know where all this misery came from.
> 
> The title is taken from 'The Dead Can't Testify' by Billy Talent.
> 
> Now go read something fluffy :)


End file.
